And it’s over before it even started…

Booted at the pitch stage once again… For me, ABNA 2013 is done. I’m out. I must admit I am a bit disappointed. I felt my pitch was good enough this time around… and maybe it was (I don’t know) as everyone keeps saying the pitch round is basically a crapshoot. And that’s fine. Really. It is. I am very happy for all of those writers who made it through. I’m glad they will continue to get a shot for publication and possibly that grand prize of $50,000. 😀

Anyway, as the disappointment sunk in, part of me was saying, “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this… But what else is there for me to do? I have a degree in Art with little experience in graphic design and none in web design… What’s a girl to do?” Then the more rational part of me said, “But it’s what you love. It’s who you are. You couldn’t stop if you wanted to… Sure, you might have a dry spell every once in a while where you just can’t write a goshdarned thing… but that comes with the territory… and none of this means you should quit.” Once I’d given myself a little pep talk, I thought maybe I should get back to querying… but I’m not quite so confident in TERRA INCOGNITA at the moment (maybe that will pass, I don’t know) so (for now) I think I might actually shelf it… focus on something else before I come back to it… I’ve been working on it for so long, editing for so long, it needs a break. I need a break. I have other works-in-progress to complete… maybe one of them will be “The One.” And I’m so close to ending one of them… focus. That’s what I need to do. Focus.

Besides, I have more important things to worry about… I’ll be 25 weeks pregnant on Friday and have a lot to do. Sheesh, I’m due, like, the week before the ABNA Finalists travel to accept their prizes… that would have been an interesting trip, for sure… Traveling across country about a week (or so) after giving birth, newborn in tow. 🙂  Yeah… but it would have been totally worth it.

So, to wrap it all up… Good luck to all who remain in the contest! AND good luck to all who were cut. You shouldn’t give up either… Being cut this early is absolutely no indication of your (or your book’s) worth (yeah, I know, we need to make it a mantra).

Good luck with all of your writing careers! I hope to see you on the other side.

Edit/Update/What-have-you: I just wanted to say that I’m not really discouraged when it comes to writing… I can’t give it up, it isn’t possible… My main reaction/emotion is one of exhaustion, more than anything. This has just been a very trying week… 🙂  I’m already tired, in general, but have a very sick hubby this week and a 3-year old to contend with, so… ha ha. Bad timing, perhaps…?

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5 responses to “And it’s over before it even started…

  1. You definitely should NOT give up. But you’re right, your current book might not be “the one”. It’s always good to work on something else, get a little distance, get excited about a shiny new WIP (and your shiny new baby to be of course).

    • Thank you, Rhiann. Even though the thought crossed my mind (ever so briefly), it would take a lot for me to give up… I love writing too much. Or should I say I obsess writing? Even when I’m not writing, I’m thinking about it. 😀

  2. I prefer to believe that my pitch and someone else’s were tied with perfect scores and mine was simply the loser of the deciding coin toss 🙂

    Just remember: it wasn’t your novel that got rejected today, just your pitch. I have a hard time with the pitch round, if i could summarize my novel in 300 words, I wouldn’t have needed to write 140,000 of them to tell the story! 🙂 Anyway, just wanted to send some encouragement your way. Sometimes stuff like this is worth it solely for the networking opportunity and the “getting your name out there”-ability.

    • Ha ha — I’m not as discouraged as I evidently sound (though maybe I was for a few brief moments 😉 )… And I definitely feel the same about the networking opportunity and whatnot… LOVE the forum and everyone on it… I don’t think I’m disappointed or discouraged with writing or ABNA (love it) but (maybe) by the story… I just need to put it aside… I almost entered a different ms this year but it wasn’t finished in time… and I’m not sure it would have done any better. This was my third year with this particular book (actually any book) and the odds were definitely against me, since it was YA… 🙂

      The best thing right now is that I can fully focus on other things.

      Thanks for the encouragement though. It is appreciated.

  3. I’m glad you aren’t giving up. Writing is tough, but giving up isn’t an option if it’s your dream. Congrats on the new baby, too.

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