Monthly Archives: August 2011

Query, logline and pitch, oh my!

Hey all… Oh, look at me… two posts in as many days… woohoo! Yeah, anyway… I thought I would post my new reworked “pitch.” I think it works a lot better than the one I posted under “Works” and, maybe, I’ll replace that one with this. It’s a little more succinct, which it needed to be in order to use it in my querying, and, I believe, more interesting. It seems to me that an actual query pitch has different requirements than the pitch I had to use for ABNA 2011. For instance, ABNA asked for more information; they wanted to know about character growth within the story and more details about the plot, at least I gathered that from everything I read. Of course, that wasn’t easy in the amount of words I could use, but I did the best I could to work everything in they required. Now, when it comes to querying, a writer needs to try to gain interest in the story in as few words as possible. Most people suggest you write a “logline” or first sentence that grabs their attention and tells the agent (or publisher) what the story is about. Then, you follow it up with the pitch (or summary that “sells” your work). I hope I described that correctly. In any case, here’s my logline (first sentence) and pitch:

“In the midst of grief, a young woman, transported to a future dominated by pale creatures that prey on humans, discovers she has a power both groups covet. After the mysterious and violent death of her beloved aunt, Haylee Wells returns home to pick up the pieces. However, when she is attacked by a strange pale creature and finds herself thrust into a future world she barely recognizes, she discovers a centuries’ old truth – a truth that goes beyond explaining her aunt’s demise and creates further questions. Now, taken in by a group of humans driven into hiding by these “Pale Ones,” Haylee must realize the power within herself – literally – or face consequences much worse than never returning home. Because, if she fails to do so, she risks becoming a slave to the “Pale Ones” and a pawn in the deadly game they have forced humans to play.”

But, yeah… Originally, I had been introducing the genre and word count and whatnot first, then my pitch. However, I read recently that the way publishing is nowadays, you need to catch their attention much sooner. So, now, I start with the logline and pitch. Of course, they probably still need some work. After the pitch, I state title, genre and word count and, then, include my short, relevant bio. Of course, I tweak it a little bit for each agency I send it to, because they all have different requirements.

Maybe this will help someone… I don’t know. I hope so.


I’m still alive…. I promise!

Uh, so yeah… It’s been way too long since I posted. That’s an understatement, I guess… Anyway, here I am! Yay! I’m sure my millions of fans have missed me – er, what’s that? I don’t have millions of fans? Huh. I could’ve sworn… No? Oh well, we’ll just have to fix that! One day, anyway…

So, back to the post. Been pretty busy the last few months, though (unfortunately) nothing book-related. I’ve barely written anything, actually… Well, that’s not completely true… I have done some work, lots of editing and changing of Terra Incognita and rewriting of query letters and synopses… but only a tiny bit of anything new. In any case, we’ve been having fun at my house fighting colds and sinus infections. Of course, the main thing we’ve been working on is a new home and getting ready to move… a lot goes into that. It’s been one delay after another, but I suppose that’s pretty typical. So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve been a little distracted… Then again, that’s not too difficult for me. 😉

So, now I’m getting back into things. Though I’ve gotten rejections from most of the agents I’ve queried, I still have plenty remaining on my list. My latest query was to the Irene Goodman Literary Agency, to Miriam Kriss. I’ve read wonderful things about her. I’m a little nervous though, because (besides the normal reasons) their submission guidelines page states that once you have sent your query, “you should receive an automated reply.” However, I did not receive said reply, but my email does say that it was sent, and I did a little research and found others have had this problem in the past. I figure if I don’t hear back in about two weeks, I’ll re-query just to make sure. I’m thinking that maybe “should” is the operative word there… Let’s hope. I keep checking and rechecking my email, even though my phone is right beside me and would let my know if I’d gotten anything new.

I’m hoping my reworked query letter is more appealing and am sure (eh) that my rewritten first chapter is so much better than it was before. Of course, I’m also very sure that it could always use more work… I’m hoping that someone out there will at least see some potential in my work and want to represent me based on that potential… that they’ll be willing to work with me to make it the best it possibly can be… because that’s what I’m willing to do… if someone would just give me the opportunity, right?

I think that’ll be all for now. I’ll try not to go months between posts next time, though I can’t guarantee anything since the move is imminent.

Thanks for listening, er, reading…. Love ya’ guys!